“Wow, did you see the cost of building a new Death Row facility at San Quentin?” asked Cal.
“That’s the prison holding the death penalty prisoners?” asked Marie. “The one on San Francisco Bay?”
“That’s the one,” said Cal. “They wanted to modernize it but the cost has nearly doubled to over $400 million and guess what, the state auditor says it could be filled to capacity only three years after it opens.”
“So what’s the problem?” said Grady. “These are bad guys. Why are we spending anything? Who cares if there’s a draft coming through the walls?”
“Please, Grady,” Marie said. “We’re a civilized society.”
“Oh yeah, ever watch reality TV? Besides, they’re going about this all wrong. I know how they can get the room they need and at no cost.”
“Do tell,” said Cal.
“The state should sell San Quentin.”
“Then what do you do with the prisoners?”
“Build a new super prison out in the desert.”
“The prisons are coming under the authority of a federal judge because there’s not enough money for prison upkeep,” Cal pointed out. “You want to build a new prison?”
“Do you have any idea what waterfront property is worth on San Francisco Bay?” asked Grady.
“A mint, at least,” said Marie.
“Probably two mints,” said Grady. “So the state sells the prison to developers who build multi-million dollar homes and condos. And, maybe you add on an extra fee for the privilege of getting this prime spot and that fee along with the sales price on the property is used to build a new prison where the land is cheaper in the desert.”
“Brilliant,” said Cal.
“I don’t think it would work,” Marie said before sipping her drink.
“Why not?” demanded Grady.
“The ACLU.”
“What do they have to do with it?” Grady asked, perplexed.
“They’d file a lawsuit on behalf of the prisoners. I’m sure they’d argue moving prisoners from seaside property to a desert location is Cruel and Unusual Punishment.”
“She may have a point,” said Cal. “At least the Ninth Circuit would probably agree. Too bad, for a minute there I thought we solved the prison problem.”
“Wait a second,” Grady exclaimed, slamming down his mug. “It could still work – if they build a park first next to San Quentin.”
“How will that work?” asked Marie.
“Jessica’s Law. The ballot measure that says no sex offender can live within two-thousand feet from a park. We pass another law just like that that says no murderer can live two-thousand feet from a park, either. Then build a park next to San Quentin, they’ll have to move the prisoners out. Then they can condemn it and sell it off.”
Cal and Grady clicked glasses in triumph, another problem solved.
