News item: Assembly Speaker Karen Bass ordered Assemblywoman Nicole Parra to a new office called “the Closet” as punishment for not voting for the budget Sunday.

“No, no, don’t repeat it again. I got it this time, I’m sure.”

Grady was concentrating. He took in a deep breath. He knew the circumstances were complicated but he wanted Cal to know that he understood the workings of government.

“Okay, so the goal is to get a half-cent sales tax to fund transportation costs on the ballot in the Los Angeles area for the voters to approve.”

“Right,” Cal said.

“Okay. Now the first step was for the Metropolitan Transportation Authority board, what we call the MTA, to approve the measure. And they did that.”

“Correct,” said Cal.

Cal said, “I propose a rally free, ad free, state budget lobbying week. Like a sales tax free weekend to get shoppers to the store -- Let’s have a week where there are no rallies around the state, on the steps of the capitol or on TV and radio about the state budget.”

“All those people have a right to speak,” Marie said. “That’s what this country’s all about.”

“Of course it is,” said Cal. “But it’s giving me a headache. Besides, so often you hear about the poor recipients of the aide when it’s really about the workers wanting more money.”

“Not in the case of the state workers who will be paid minimum wage if the governor’s executive order goes through. They make bones that’s its about them,” said Marie.

“And what about the taxpayers who pay the bills -- do we ever hear from them?” asked Grady.

“The San Francisco School Board is going to end high school football,” Cal said.

“That’s terrible,” Marie argued. “What’s the problem? Too many injuries?”

“Nope.”

“Cost too much?”

“Maybe it does, but that’s not the reason.”

“I give up,” Marie said. “Why are they ending football?”

“Cause of what they decided about Junior ROTC!”

Marie just stared. Then she ordered a drink from the waitress, settled down and said, “Run that by me again.”

“Did you hear about this announcement about cigarettes and the movies?” Cal asked.

When no one responded he continued: “The state announced a deal with six major movie studios to run a 30-second California public service announcement on new movie DVDs that point out that smoking is bad for you?”

Cal was reading reports of the announcement from a newspaper. “It says here this effort is supposed to convince young movie-goers that the smoking they see on movies rated G, PG, or PG-13 is not glamorous.’

“Well, its not glamorous,” said Marie. “Good for them. Then kids won’t mimic everything they see up on the screen.”

“I see a big problem,” Grady joined in. “They won’t stop with smoking. Pretty soon you’ll have to wade through ads that tell you that drugs used by the characters in the movie is for dramatic purposes only and you shouldn’t follow the actor’s lead.”

“What’s wrong with that?” asked Marie.

“What do you suppose goes on in those secret meetings with the Big 4 when they get together to talk about the budget?” asked Marie.

“Lots of horse trading, I guess,” said Cal. “When you get the Democratic and Republican leaders of the Assembly and Senate in a room they have a lot of differences to iron out and the best way to do that is by wheeling-dealing. You know, I’ll trade you three corporate loopholes for one program elimination.”

“I don’t get it. Why can’t the budget be debated out in the open?”

Cal said, “You don’t do wheeling and dealing in the public. You can’t get anything done that way. They are working hard to come up with compromises that will work.”

“That’s what they’d like you to think they’re doing,” said Grady. “If the budget were resolved quickly every year then no one in California would even know the legislature exists. You saw how many people showed up in the June primary. What was it, twenty percent of the voters? The only way that people know the legislature exists is when they pass a silly bill or stall the budget. You know what I think, I think they like it this way. That’s why a late budget’s happened something like 20 years in a row.

Once again California has a budget deficit and arguments ring out throughout the capitol. Is the deficit caused because we spend too much or because we tax too little? In the rallying cries of the day, depending which side you’re on, we either have a revenue problem or we have a spending problem.

To help decide this issue we assembled a panel of experts to give their opinions from their unique perspectives. Putting this panel together wasn’t easy. Let’s just say we had to go a long, long way….

First, Mark Twain, let’s start off with you. You watched government closely over the years. Do you have any recollections about how any government dealt with taxing and spending?

TWAIN: “That was a fine collection of sovereigns, that first Nevada Legislature. They levied taxes to the amount of thirty or forty thousand dollars and ordered expenditures to the extent of about a million.”

I see. So this kind of practice we see here in California has been going on for some time. Do you care to comment Will Rogers?

“Wow, did you see the cost of building a new Death Row facility at San Quentin?” asked Cal.

“That’s the prison holding the death penalty prisoners?” asked Marie. “The one on San Francisco Bay?”

“That’s the one,” said Cal. “They wanted to modernize it but the cost has nearly doubled to over $400 million and guess what, the state auditor says it could be filled to capacity only three years after it opens.”

“So what’s the problem?” said Grady. “These are bad guys. Why are we spending anything? Who cares if there’s a draft coming through the walls?”

“Please, Grady,” Marie said. “We’re a civilized society.”

“Oh yeah, ever watch reality TV? Besides, they’re going about this all wrong. I know how they can get the room they need and at no cost.”

“Do tell,” said Cal.

“The state should sell San Quentin.”

“So the L.A. teachers went out on strike for an hour,” said Cal.

“To convince the governor and legislature not to cut the school budget,” said Marie. “How can they cut schools?”

“The governor’s getting a bad rap,” Grady said. “He’s not cutting school funding, he’s increasing school funding.”

“How can you say that? I saw the picket lines,” said Marie.

“Picket lines are PR. Smoke and mirrors. Not facts. They’re trying to control public thinking. If they say CUT enough times, the public will believe.”

“What facts?” Marie asked.

Cal said, “Its right here.” He waved the newspaper in front of Marie. “The L.A. schools expected over $500 million more from the state this year than last year. That was based on revenue projections. The governor’s offering only $193 million more than last year, so they say they are being cut $353 million.”

California officials have a secret plan for solving the state budget problem.

The lottery, you say?

Pshaw! This plan goes to the heart of every Californian. In a jujitsu like maneuver, the plan uses one of Californians' great weaknesses as a way to gain a positive result for the state.

California is known for a number of things. Some are regional such as surfing or movie making. But what all Californians are known for is their love of driving. The automobile -- that's the ticket to solving the budget problem.

The price of gas seems to have no ceiling. As this is written, the average statewide price is $4.34 according to one website. Each dollar spent on gas is subject to a state and local sales tax. So as the price of gasoline hurtles skyward like a rocket ship, dollars from the sales tax take zooms upward right along with it.

But hauling in new tax dollars on the back of gas price increases is only part of this diabolical plan.