A lone gray wolf made headlines in recent weeks by wandering from Oregon into California’s Siskiyou County, making it the first gray wolf in the state in the wild since 1924.
The movements of the wolf, known as OR7, had been tracked on the Internet – although the display of the wolf’s exact location was delayed to protect the wolf from anyone who meant it harm.
But the animal’s intentions, like those of people and businesses who leave or come to California, has become the subject of much speculation, and some politics. The wolf hadn’t explained itself, so I caught up with OR7 in an undisclosed meadow in the north state.
Q: Is that you OR7?
A: Yes, but my buddies in my old pack called me Winston. We’re all Tarantino fans; he’s a hyena in human skin.
Q: You’ve recently moved to California. What are your intentions, peaceful or hostile?
A: With me, it’s always a little of both.
Q: Some on the right suggest that there must be something wrong with a wolf that would move to California, given the high tax rates and the chances that taxes might go up in the November elections?
A: I thought of that, but you know, I’m not exactly a one-percenter so the hikes don’t get me unless my jackal cousins at JP Morgan Chase cut me in on the Facebook IPO. And Oregon’s income tax rates are just as bad, with a top rate of 11 percent.
Q: But no sales tax up there?
A: True. But since the retailers I’ve met in California are always giving me discounts once they get a look at me – I can be a little intimidating – I don’t mind paying the sales tax. I mean, I may be a natural predator who hunts, kills and eats beautiful hoofed animals, but I’m not Amazon.
Q: What about our regulatory environment?
A: I must admit that does worry me. As a wild animal, I’m big on environmental protection and habit preservation, but CEQA is just indefensible. As a wolf, I kill quickly and eat a thing—but I don’t torture it. I have a sense of honor CEQA is for vultures – they just feed and pick over the carcass of a project for years. That’s not right.
Q: So what’s the attraction of California?
A: Well, I’m a lone wolf, and your state is full of them. You guys aren’t really very well connected to each other – you don’t know your neighbors, you don’t vote all that much, you’re kind of disconnected—civically disengaged. I know that’s bad, but I kind of dig it. I’m libertarian. I wish Clint Eastwood would run for something; you don’t know this, but he’s half wolf—just look at that face. I’d be for Ron Paul, but he’s a little too black-and-white for me. I’m gray, you know.
Q. I see. But aren’t you looking for a pack?
A. That’s true—I’m biologically programmed for it. And that’s why the tax and the regulatory stuff doesn’t matter. I don’t think anyone moves anywhere because of that stuff. I got an aunt in Sweden, and the extortionate taxes don’t keep that from being a great, rich country. Just like the low taxes and deregulation don’t keep a poor, miserable place—not fit for wolves.
We wolves just want to go where we can find a pack of wolves like us. It’s about who you’re with, and what you’re doing. Computer programmers want to be in Silicon Valley, or screenwriters in Hollywood, and I’m happiest in a field of sheep. You know, your kind is not much different than me.