Flunking History
Spring seems to have brought with it an outbreak of a new type of allergy: allergic historicus . Unlike allergic rhinitis or hay fever, allergic historicus is not characterized by sinus problems or itchy eyes. The symptoms, rather, are using historical examples that illustrate one’s ignorance and thus exposing the victim to easy ridicule. An interesting pathology of the condition is that some people in proximity of an allergic historicus suffer may develop a related condition, historicus fatuus, or even worse historicus dementis.
For example, Dick Armey recently proclaimed the Jamestown Colony as "socialist venture" that left "everybody dead and dying in the snow." Let’s see: Jamestown was founded as a for-profit venture by the London Company, a joint stock company in 1607, or about two hundred years before French thinker Saint-Simon first wrote about socialism. Perhaps Armey confused Capitan John Smith, soldier of fortune and tireless promoter of North America as a place to get rich, with Karl Marx. After all, both men had beards.