They are dropping like flies lately – promising Republicans from the national scene, that is. As one after another falls victim to the vicissitudes of marital infidelity, bathroom encounters and other tawdry gossip column details, the reference to the Circular Firing Squad, which Democrats used to have a lock on, must now officially be expanded to include both of America’s political parties. It is clear that neither has the monopoly on hypocrisy, smugness, arrogance, or stupidity now.
Before I continue in this vein, let me make clear that I am a political agnostic – I believe in political parties, I just haven’t found one that covers all my bases – some might say that I am socially liberal and fiscally conservative, but, this is not about me. I have written before for F&HD on the subject of America’s dire need for a viable third party for the 21st Century. The thought popped into my head again after watching Gov. Sanford set new records for the meaning of “off the reservation,” and how not to handle one’s extracurricular love life in that televised press conference of dizzying insanity and abject stupidity that we were all treated to this week.
The ranks of both major parties are now studded with those who simply could not keep their pants buttoned while pursuing high-flying political careers and discharging the stressful but vital tasks of holding public office. The last two Republicans were highly touted for 2012, but those ambitions have now officially crashed and burned. We hear that being a major political figure/public office holder is like being a rock star, with groupies, constant, fawning adulation, and lots of opportunity for those of us who did not sow their wild oats back in their teens and twenties to easily catch up on what they fear that they may have missed.
Never mind all the ‘Don’t Cry for Me Argentina’ jokes and the lines about him choosing his Appalachian Trial Hiking Alibi right on ‘Hike Naked Day,’ Gov. Sanford could not have screwed that one up worse if he had actually tried to destroy himself, his family and his career (including 2012 aspirations), all in one fell swoop. The residents of Illinois are all feeling very relieved that they didn’t have the only True NutCase of a Governor after all. The rest of us are reeling with a What’s Next [?] sense of apprehension about picking up tomorrow’s newspaper like a hot pan off the stove, in utter terror of who will destroy him or herself next.
Will we now find out more tawdry details of Gov. Palin’s family life in Alaska? Will Newt admit to even more past infidelity? Will Larry Flynt of Hustler fame (no minor league NutCase in his own right) ‘out’ more elected officials like he did Mr. Livingston, who was Speaker of the House for about as long as it takes to drink your morning coffee? Will Rush relapse into taking 500 painkillers a day again and then need a new liver to fix the damage? Will Hillary now step out on Bill? Will John Edwards and spouse further entertain us with torrid details that we really could live fine lives without ever hearing about?
Gov. Sanford’s fall also has the distinction of being THE scandal that pushed the Iranian Phoney Election Meltdown off the front pages – for which the Supreme Leader, in his own uniquely Supreme way, undoubtedly thanks the beleaguered Governor – supremely.
Most of the rest of the world thinks we here in America are pretty nutty when it comes to these infidelity scandals. I have been in various foreign countries when similar scandals have first broken, to hear Europeans and others laughing heartily at what all the fuss is about. The fuss, for their benefit, is about people who set themselves up as paragons of virtue and models of morality, and then proceed to show us that they really have feet of clay and the hormones of lusty teenagers.
Between the financial debacles and scandals – yet another Ponzi scheme came to light this week – and all the low rent infidelities practiced on your TV screen and my own, sometimes it seems like all of the Media has lowered itself to the National Enquirer level of prurient interest. We so love to cheer them on the way up and jeer them on the way down that it has become a national sport.
May I suggest that we remember that, in addition to a very troubled world economy and two US wars, we also have the NutCase of all nutcases still running North Korea, foaming at the mouth for somebody, somewhere to pay attention to his ravings. We also have a worsening situation in the Middle East which is smack dab between our two US wars there, as well as plenty of strife in Africa, and a long hot Summer here in America with lots of people, both young and old, who are out of work, frustrated and angry and just itching to lash out at somebody. Let’s get serious, take our minds back out of the gutter, and get on with it already.